How Do I Talk To My Teen About Sexting?
Sexting — sending or receiving sexual messages or photos — is one of those topics that can make even the most confident parent freeze. But here’s the truth: your teen is growing up in a digital world where sexting is part of many peer conversations. Ignoring it doesn’t make it go away. Talking about it — calmly and clearly — helps your teen make safer, more confident choices.
Here are five tips for having a real, respectful conversation with your teen about sexting.
1. Start early, keep it casual
You don’t need a big “sit-down talk.” Try bringing it up during a car ride or while watching TV together.
“I read an article about teens sending photos — is that something people at your school talk about?”
Keeping it casual makes it easier for your teen to share honestly without feeling interrogated.
2. Focus on values, not shame
Your teen is learning what feels right and what doesn’t. Instead of focusing only on rules, talk about respect, trust, and how we show care for others online and offline.
“If someone really likes you, how can you tell? Are there ways to show that without sending pictures?”
Conversations rooted in values last much longer than “don’t do it” lectures.
3. Explain the real-world risks
Sexting isn’t just risky because adults say so — it’s risky because images can spread quickly and be impossible to control once sent. Help them understand why this matters:
- Screenshots and forwards can happen even in private chats.
- Sharing or saving sexual images of anyone under 18 can be considered child pornography.
- Emotional safety matters — being pressured to send or share can feel awful and confusing.
Make sure your teen knows they can always come to you for help, even if they’ve already sent or received something.
4. Set clear and realistic boundaries
Instead of saying, “Never sext,” try creating safety parameters together. For example:
- “If someone asks for a photo, take a screenshot and show me — I won’t freak out.”
- “Let’s talk about what kinds of messages feel okay to send and what crosses your line.”
- “If you get something you didn’t ask for, you can block, delete, or tell an adult — that’s not tattling.”
Boundaries give your teen a sense of agency while keeping them safe.
5. Keep the door open
Sexting isn’t a one-time conversation. Technology, relationships, and peer norms keep changing. Let your teen know they can always come to you for a non-judgmental chat or help cleaning up a digital mistake.
“You won’t be in trouble for telling me. We’ll figure it out together.”
Your calm curiosity builds trust — and that’s the strongest protection your teen has online.
Key Takeaway
Talking about sexting isn’t about preventing curiosity; it’s about building safety, trust, and respect in a digital world that moves fast. When you stay calm, informed, and approachable, your teen learns they can come to you first.
Resource
https://www.scarleteen.com/about/announcements/cutting-room-floor-sexting
Work with Auntie Julia
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